September 1, 2023

Some ears ago while working in the blindness rehabilitation field as a tech trainer, tech presenter and peer mentor the unspeakable happened, and this is my first time talking about it publicly.  To this day it brings up feelings of anxiety, shame and embarrassment, and sometimes it even wakes me up in the night with a mild panic attack.  Although it was fixed so that no lasting ramifications have resulted, nothing removes my shame for having done what I did to myself on that day, and what’s worse is that I fell for it, not just once, but twice. 

You see, I had recently started a minor part-time job working for someone I had never worked for or with previously, so didn’t know the individual’s working style, reactions to pressure or work-load capacity.  I’ve long had a great gage for my own stress levels, which has always revealed itself in the form of Cold Sores – herpes simplex virus that begin to disappear as soon as the stressor has passed by, however wasn’t equipped with a gage to determine how the new boss dealt with issues related to work and timeline pressures. 

So, what happened you ask?  While working at my desk one day preparing a training lesson for a customer, writing an article for an upcoming agency newsletter, and researching and testing the features of an accessible app to be presented during the next weekly Zoom Tech Chat, the boss sent me an email while participating in a Committee meeting requesting that I go online and purchase a $500 Amazon Gift Card needed by the Committee.  The message was apologetic and hurried, and as I was somewhat aware of the individual’s reluctance to engage in online commerce, I quickly fulfilled the request.  Once the Gift Card was delivered, the boss asked if I could purchase a second one as the Committee through further deliberation wanted to present one more appreciation gift.  Of course my reimbursement of these purchases was never an issue in my mind, so I merrily went along with the feel-good task of supporting the agency in this way. 

Shortly thereafter my intuition, along with my partner told me that something wasn’t quite right about this request and the rushed nature with which it was made.  That prompted me to look more closely at the email address from which the request was received, and that a third request for the same Gift Card had since arrived in my inbox, I finally got wise to the fraud being perpetrated on my person and bank account.  By this time I had $1,000 worth of purchases sitting on my Credit Card for which there would be no reimbursement, and the feelings of anxiety and embarrassment from my having been financially violated started in earnest. 

The physical feelings that my body experienced during the above noted fraud was eerily similar to the times when my radial arm saw was stolen from my carport and when our house was broken into and robbed, with one notable difference, this time I did it to myself, whereas those previous events I had no ability to prevent.  I was able to replace those stolen items without ongoing stress or anxiety, however the anxiety, embarrassment and shame for the email fraud to which I had recently fallen victim just wouldn’t go away.  It haunts me to this day, despite the $1,000 having been replaced by the Credit Card company after I filed a Fraud Report a few days after the event took place. 

I guess what I’m saying through this story is that we must take personal responsibility for the decisions we make and the costs born by those decisions.  Most recently I’ve watched many in my circles of friends, associates and family go through the fraud that was the illness of 2020 and the resulting unsafe and ineffective quickly rolled out magical cure.  I think I recognize the feelings of anxiety, shame and embarrassment that many who fell for the fraud must be experiencing now that so much evidence has stacked up showing just how deep and broad were the propaganda, lies and deception on us all.  Thankfully, I have never woken up wishing that I had taken part in this recent failed medical experiment, and remain ever appreciative for good health, a strong immunity and awake intuition to a narrative that sounded all sorts of wrong during the fear promotion stages of this fraud in early 2020.  You see, I have long believed that corporations and governments that want me to fear something are nearly always doing some nasty deed in the background while I’m distracted in fear.  Over the past few years in an effort to continue to reject big-pharma’s push to have us all on a list of pills to cover every medical symptom we might complain about, I have made the lifestyle changes to ensure I won’t need their over-prescribed Cholesterol medication, or any other medication aimed at remunerating life-style illnesses running rampant today.  So far my anti-pharma strategies have included quitting smoking at age 42, starting on a weight loss journey at age 50, adopting a device to mitigate mild sleep apnea at age 65 and quitting drinking alcohol at age 67.  I plan to live forever, and so far so good. 

On a final note, I want to wrap this all up with a brief story about the last experimental drug I rejected and why.  This story took place at the Mayo Clinic in January of 1979 when I was hard at work trying to sort out why my vision was failing, and what might be done to stop the regression that was first noticed in the spring of 1977.  After 5 days of tests and examinations by many technicians, Doctors and researchers I sat down with the best retinal specialist in the world, Dr Brubaker to discuss his findings and potential medical strategies.  Sadly, the only thing that could be determined is that my vision loss was likely caused by an autoimmune condition that was affecting the retinal blood vessels, and that I likely didn’t do anything to cause it and that nothing could be done to stop it that hadn’t already been tried by specialists on Canada’s west coast.  He did however suggest that an experimental drug therapy could be tried that had a minor chance of helping the condition, and that carried a high probability of harming other organs in my body.  I appreciated Dr Brubaker’s honesty in delivering the information I needed in order to make such a momentous decision about my vision and health.  Informed consent has been so important to my being able to chart the course of my life, and I remain in gratitude to Dr Brubaker for having done nothing more or less than was absolutely necessary in that regard.  At the end of the day, I intuitively knew that if I was to live the rest of my life without sight, I would fair much better doing it in a healthy body, so with little fanfare, discussion with loved ones or time with which to make the decision, I announced that I would maintain the healthy body I was blessed with and allow the “Universe” to organize how I would end up seeing the world going forward. 

Low and behold, over the next 10 or so years vision did continue to fail to the point of total blindness, and to this day my health remains good, as do my natural immunity and intuition.  I have so far lived a good life with many twists and turns, a few errors along the way that have taught me some very good lessons, and a 30-year career in the not-for-profit disability sector for which I am immensely proud.  Through it all I have managed to participate in bringing into the world two fabulous sons who contribute to society, I have helped raise two step-children to adulthood, and have finally landed in the loving relationship that is meant to, and that will last until eternity. 

I too bought into the fear propaganda in early 2020, and by May of that year it became evident to me that early treatment options were available, however big-pharma and big-government were hard at work promoting the narrative that they would alleviate their fear propaganda with a “Warp-Speed” cure.  My mistrust of their narrative had me continuing to seek out the vast array of alternative resources, information and support, and I remain steadfast in my opposition to, and distrust of the lies and deceptions promoted by mainstream media, all three levels of government, Public Health and the Pharmaceutical Industrial Complex.  This ridiculous situation became so dire that in February of 2022 I was fired from a virtual job as a result of my refusing to participate in a fraudulent drug experiment, and some personal relationships have been irreparably damaged along the way.  I won’t miss that ill-informed employer, however hope that some of those who followed the guidance and leadership of our weak governments and captured Public Health “authorities” will eventually find the mental health supports needed for them to overcome the cognitive dissonance that has allowed them to participate, and worse, to shun those who wouldn’t. 

They lied and people died. 

Sincerely,

Albert A. Ruel

From An Island in the Pacific

AlbertRuel@Fastmail.com  https://AlbertRuel.blog/